Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
