I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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