i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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