I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
