You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
