return my video game
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
