On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
