I hate your face
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
