oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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