i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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