Princesses don't give blow jobs
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
