just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize