I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Randomize
