New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
