Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
