You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
