how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
