I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
