I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
is that a dick in a sweater?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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