He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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