He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Randomize
