i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
why does every cop we meet know your name?
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