No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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