yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
