He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
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