sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
