I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
