Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
