Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
