I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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