i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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