You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
