so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
So vagazzling was a success
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Randomize
