white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
