Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
