If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
