they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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