Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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