I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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