The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize