Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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