All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize