I think my vagina is haunted
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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