Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
