I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Sober January is a disaster.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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