dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
