Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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