Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
