drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
