Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
My life is pants optional.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
