thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
splinters make it hard to masturbate
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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