you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So much Jack, so little girl.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
