If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
