At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
