I hope mine doesn't look like that
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
