So drunk its hurt
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
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