I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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