You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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