Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
40s are totally the cure
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
