I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
