Got a toothbrush?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
