I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
