I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
