After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
