Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
birth control should be required to get into college
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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