this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
