im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
